Food for thought: Sunshine chronicles one family's intergerational story of motherhood

One college summer in the 90s (when we lived in different cities), Jim and I swore off television.  It was too easy to fall into a cavern of sitcoms when working 40+ hours a week in the fast food industry.  The safety valve for our media-obsessed hearts was an exception for PBS.  At the time we made the agreement, the PBS clause felt like agreeing that we could eat our fill of baby carrots: wholesome and oppressively dull.

While the agreement ended up dramatically reducing our overall television time and cultivating a load of in-jokes about Jack Horkheimer's trippy astronomy program, it also gave us hours of engaging conversation about great documentaries.

In my opinion, PBS has only improved since the 90s.  Nova's episode on cuttlefish introduced me to the geek of the seas.  I now admire the clever little cephalopod despite my general repulsion for mollusks.  A documentary on the last day of Herculeaneum (the town smothered by Versuvius' explosion) started an important internal dialog regarding fear, disaster, and extinction.

PBS consistently shows me unusual perspectives that spur different considerations of the universe.  Independent Lens is a household favorite because we live over 2 hours from any independent cinemas that show documentaries.  Every Tuesday offers the opportunity of seeing an independent filmmaker chronicle some aspect of human life.

On Tuesday, May 4th (check your local listings) Karen Skloss' autobiographical Sunshine chronicles two women who find themselves unmarried and pregnant during college.  One, a young woman in the 1970s (and not incidentally, Skloss' birth mother), does not tell her parents, moves to a home for unwed mothers, and gives the baby (Skloss) up for adoption.  The second woman (filmmaker Skloss) chooses, in the 90s, to raise her child as a single parent sharing responsibilities with the father.

The contrast between the mothers' choices and experiences is engaging, but (for me) the incredible social change regarding unwed/single motherhood in just one generation is astounding.



At one point Skloss and her birth mother visit the now deserted home for unwed mothers.  A former staff member guides them and comments that although there are still young pregnant women, the home became obsolete and was replaced with service centers.  They ponder when and how mores shifted to bring single motherhood out of quiet cloisters and into the mainstream.

Community ends up taking a central role in the film.  Skloss' Catholic parents love and support their daughter and granddaughter despite ideological differences regarding her single motherhood.  The father of Skloss' daughter articulately compares single fatherhood to single motherhood.  Skloss' birth mother, aunt, and grandfather open their lives to Skloss and her cameras.  The viewer sees the community that supported the birth mother's decision to give up her child, the community that supports Skloss in keeping her child, and the present day community of the birth mother.

For all the single mother is discussed in the news, the conversation rarely transcends stereotypes and statistics.  Sunshine offers a personal perspective that illuminates a cultural need to talk more effectively about parenting without partners.

When I read the excellent Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads, Wiseman's observation that the single mom is the most likely target for exclusion in a parent community surprised me.  It makes sense though that we may struggle with people whose position we cannot easily articulate.  And while we have brought unwed mothers into the light redefined as single mothers, social structure hasn't made many accommodations.

The film spurred some household discussions about current attitudes toward domestic adoption.  At times, the film presents the idea of parents giving up unplanned children as antiquated.  Maybe domestic adoption fell out of practice after the highly publicized adoption reversals of the 1990s, but (as the great-grandchild of an adopted son) I truly hope adoption remains a viable choice today.

Watch the show next Tuesday and let us know what you think.

***Baby Toolkit is the hobby blog of geek parents who would otherwise squander their time watching television and boring their family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers with all its incredible content.  Instead we now pester you with it.  DICLOSURE: PBS' Independent Lens sent us a preview disc so we could watch Sunshine in advance (rather than saying "hey, did you catch that great show in May?" sometime around August).  Being on Independent Lens' advance viewer list makes us very happy, but probably has minimal cash value.  We received a burned DVD and a brochure (total value: $3 with a huge side of happiness).  We are also Amazon affiliates, so if you buy through our links (thank you!) a portion of your purchase goes to power the syndicate that is Baby Toolkit.

Hey, you guys! Baby Toolkit is no longer grounded

I should explain our recent radio silence.  For months, I have owed a car seat and stroller review to our friends at ZRecs.  In March, I decided to ground myself from Baby Toolkit until I handed in my homework.

This weekend I completed the review.  It's mammoth.  It has videos.

In other news, I've been exploring the outside world.  Through happy circumstance I stumbled into a really motivating exercise class.

Friends have visited, games have been played, books have been read, movies have been watched, gadgets have been utilized, problems have been hacked, and lots of food has been eaten.

One nice thing about time in the outside world is that it gives us a lot of inspiration for blogging.

Hang onto your hats, people!  We may start posting with intensity.  Once, maybe even twice a week.

So what have you been up to?

P.S. We also redecorated the blog, so if you feedreader folks want to stop by and tell us how much you miss the old 565 Blogger template, we're happy to hear your thoughts.

***Baby Toolkit is the independent opinion of some slackers who periodically write about geek parenting.

Listen-Along Storybook contest ends tonight!

Have you entered our contest to win all 8 books currently featured at listenalongstorybook.com? It ends at midnight tonight (CDT).

[Contest has ended.]

And find more great contests at Prizey.net.

Write a Letter Right Now: The Blessing of Paper Correspondence

Around two weeks ago, I got a surprise package in the mail. The sender included many thoughtful gifts for our family, but I most loved the enclosed letter from my friend.

Her handwriting, humor, and forthright personality reminded me that despite substantial distance and the passage of time, my friend and I still exist in each other's daily lives. Small actions (like the habit of tearing plastic windows out of envelopes before recycling), gestures, and environmental cues (book titles, dog breeds, places) offer me perpetual reminders of people I don't see as often as I would like.

I encourage you to pick up a pen and drop a line to someone who might enjoy hearing from you.

When I wrote my friend back by hand, it was a real shift from typing at my keyboard. I banned myself from looking up anything online during the duration of the letter (book titles were the true agony). It was strange to commit ideas to the page, and I found myself working more deliberately. The easy pace and ability to commit myself wholly to the letter was relaxing and joyful. Ranger and I added a few thumbprint embellishments a la Ed Emberley and I even doodled an ocean scene on the back of the envelope. It was the most luxurious way I have passed an hour in months. My life felt so much less harried because I had the available time to put pen to paper.

I mailed her letter a week ago. Yesterday, in a modern postal miracle, there were three handwritten pieces of mail for me. With the gladness of those special notes, I sat down last night and penned a letter to someone who can makes me laugh so hard my ribs hurt. Knowing my friend's insanely busy life, I don't expect a reply. I want her to know that I miss her and she still makes me smile all the time.

This could turn out to be addictive.

Who could you write today?

***Baby Toolkit is the sometimes slapdash answer to what happens when a couple of tragically unhip geeks have kids. We are Amazon affiliates, so a small portion of purchases through our Amazon links does power the Baby Toolkit industrial complex (domain names and DSL service).

Potty Positivity: Even Firefighters Go to the Potty

When I asked my friends how they potty trained their kids, more than one responded that her child wanted to be like their older underpants-wearing friends.

Peer pressure seems to hold some sway with young kids. While underpants may motivate the fashionable, how can parents with fashion-indifferent kids make the move out of diapers more alluring?

Wendy Wax and her sister Naomi Wax offer an ingenious lift-a-flap book that makes kids proud to potty.

Even Firefighters Go To The Potty observes that all kinds of people answer Nature's call. Through Stephen Gilpin's colorful and funny illustrations readers wonder where important figures (a police officer, a doctor, a baseball player, a *gasp* waiter, a train engineer, and an astronaut- among others) have gone.

The child can lift a door shaped flap on the page to reveal the missing cool person in the bathroom. The modest pictures keep everything G-rated while still showing urinals and other non-household bathroom features.

The book made me laugh pretty hard. Just as I was acclimating to the rhythm "But an astronaut is missing. Where could he have gone? [life flap] To the potty. Even astronauts go to the potty," I found myself squirming to read "It's a busy day at the restaurant. The Sutton family is ready to order. But where did the waiter go?"

Noooo! Waiters never go to the potty during their shifts. No! No! No!

When Ranger lifted the flap to show a picture of a handsome fellow thoroughly washing his hands, I laughed with delight (and no small measure of relief). Ranger always laughs especially hard at the page because of my initial reaction.

The book is charming and well-drawn and received far more interest than the classic Everyone Poops. Because it's a household comedy hit, I've had the slightly awkward pleasure of reading it to at least one visiting child. The preschool kids all proudly declared that they too go to the potty. I think that kind of enthusiasm would inspire early potter trainers to desire membership in the secret society of the commode.

The book's pages are made of a heavily laminated cardstock. They're really durable. We let the Raptor (15 months) brutally drag the book all over the house and it shows no notable wear after weeks of unchecked abuse.

For $8, this hardcover book is a steal. I wish we had owned it years ago.

Update 3/12:
Wendy reports that Even Ballerinas Go To The Potty is currently being developed. I'd like to note that preschool girls and boys seem equally delighted by Even Firefighters Go To The Potty when we've read it with them.

Parents who think about books and writers thinking about children's books will like Wendy's new blog. Learn more about her other titles at her website.

***Baby Toolkit is the from the trenches communique of two geek parents in the Midwestern United States. Wendy Wax sent us a free copy of Even Firefighters Go To The Potty ($8). We have no financial relationship with the book's authors or publishers. We are Amazon affiliates, so a small percentage of purchases made through our Amazon links help pay for our domain name and DSL service. Thanks for reading Baby Toolkit!

Have you heard? ListenAlongStoryBook.com podcasts popular picturebooks for free!

In the 70s, my favorite rack in the public library held plastic bags with books and records. Over my childhood Arnold Lobel's Stone Soup evolved into Sterling North's Rascal while the records were gradually usurped by cassette tapes. Today, the mention of those authors' names conjure memories of laying on the green shag carpet in front of the stereo and engaging in those well-told tales.

Following the Raptor's toddling path through the library last week, I found that the library still has a small collection of those books on cassette (and now CD), but I suspect that those kids' audiobook are becoming a less common feature in libraries today. The audio mediums are more prone to breakage than print materials, so the collections require more patron care and general maintenance.

One children's publisher (Sterling Children's Books) is making it possible for excellent dramatic performance to be a childhood standard yet again.

On March 1st, Sterling launched ListenAlongStoryBook.com which offers live streaming and podcasts of their most popular picture books.

Sterling's publicist sent us a copy of Cesar Takes a Break by Susan Collins Thoms (MRSP: $14.95), so 4 year old Ranger could experience the podcast with the book.

Cesar Takes a Break is a very timely choice for kids about to take a Spring Break. Cesar, a classroom iguana, decides to explore the school when the children of the class leave for vacation. Ranger is in his second year of preschool, but every break seems to surprise him. This story seems a good way to make him mindful of the upcoming week's opportunities.

Jim thinks the book's varied characters (the school's other class pets) lend themselves to expressive reading. Ranger loves it when Jim reads this story as well.

The high quality podcast entails excellent and expressive readings (by Sterling Children's Book staffers) and original music.

Ranger loved the Cesar Takes a Break podcast with and without the book. His reading skills at 4.5 leave him a bit baffled about when to the turn the page. The story pleases him even without the book in hand. We would love to see a subtle signal added to cue page turns as it would allow pre-readers to follow along with greater independence.

Listen-Along Storybook's first 8 podcasts include the classic folktale Jack & the Beanstalk and new releases like Perfectly Arugula.

Ranger and I will get the books from the library so we can follow along with the vibrant illustrations, but YOU have a chance to win the 8 book set from Sterling Children's Books.

Sterling Children's Books has offered to give each of THREE lucky Baby Toolkit readers (in the U.S. or Canada) all 8 books currently featured on the podcast site.

[Contest closed.]
(Contest entries close at 11:59 PM Thursday, 3/18/2010. Winners will be notified by email.)

For a peek behind the production curtain check out the making of Cesar Takes a Break:


Sterling has also launched a Jokecast for the younger set. WARNING: These are serious groaners, and I know Ranger is going to love telling them to me HUNDREDS of times.

***Baby Toolkit is the brain dump of two Midwestern bibliophile geek parents with opinions on almost everything. We received a free copy of Cesar Takes a Break from Sterling Children's Books (~$15 value). While free books are a decent route to our bookworm hearts, we wouldn't bother telling you (at least not in non-lambasting tones) about something we didn't like.

E.T. can now phone home or cell: VTech DS6321-3 simplifies life

In the fall our cordless phone's battery life finally flatlined. Its standby time made the life of a gastrotrich look epic. The very weak signal made all our (very short) phone calls sound as if they were happening on a highly trafficked heliport.

I bought another phone. A lovely system with 3 handsets, a base with answering system, and two charging stations. Now I could grab a cordless phone downstairs, in the kitchen, or in our room. I settled in for a new age of convenience.

But my cell phone kept ringing, especially when both kids napped and I was finally settling in with a book. The easily accessed cordless phone was impotent when a persistent, child-waking wail was coming from a coat pocket, somewhere in my backpack, the kitchen counter, or wherever the young agents of chaos has decided to place it.

Mr. Pavlov would be amused to see me drop whatever I was doing and sprint around the house on a frenzied scavenger hunt to make the bells stop ringing. If I was downstairs, the phone was upstairs (or vice-versa). If the phone and I were in close geographic proximity, it would be usually be hidden in some crazy Russian stacking doll arrangement of bags, pockets, and or toys.

Usually, when my hand made contact with the phone, it would immediately stop ringing. I used to make the rookie mistake of checking the display and attempting a return call, but before I hit send my home phone would begin ringing- far,far away. Let the games resume.

About the time I started leaving the cell phone in the car, VTech offered us a chance to review their new cordless phones. When I skimmed the email, their DS6321-3 looked like a direct competitor to my existing phone. As I was about to hit delete I noticed the phone's killer apps: it connects by Bluetooth with up to two cell phones AND it imports cell phone directories.

The review phones from VTech (retail value $100) have been our primary household phones* for a month. My naptime sprinting scavenger hunts have ended.

As long as a cellphone has Bluetooth activated and is within 30 feet of the base, any handset can receive incoming and make outgoing calls. The Bluetooth radius includes our upstairs kitchen and living room as well as the entry area downstairs where I often leave my coat. If I'm downstairs doing laundry, I can easily answer my cell phone when it's in my bag upstairs. If everyone is napping, and my coat is ringing downstairs I can answer it two places upstairs. My sprinting skills can now being applied to important things like wolf attacks and glasses of juice poised on the very edge of the table.

Proximity of the cell phone to the base can affect call quality. When the phone is nears the outer reaches of Bluetooth communication voices began to sound robotic and signal noise increases.

As new users of Bluetooth, we were surprised by how much it shortens the life of each battery charge. I often put my cell phone on a charger (which I'll review soon) when I'm home to counteract the constant Bluetooth power draw. There's nothing different about power use with VTech, but it is a factor to consider if you're considering this system as your first Bluetooth device.

Each handset can also set the ringer volume for the whole system and retrieve messages from the answering machine on the base.

I put a call on hold (cell or home) to answer or make an outgoing call on another phone. The handset displays caller id information from the cell phone.

Cell phone directory import is really helpful. The cell directories are saved in the system and can be accessed even when the cell phone is not connected to the system.

Jim's LG VX8360 imported flawlessly. My Nokia 6205 (no, we're not smartphone people) only imported the numbers but didn't import the names or number types (e.g. home, cell, work). After a call to tech support, it turns out my phone is incompatible with the system. A few of the compatible systems are listed on Vtech's website, but prospective purchasers might want to call Vtech (800)595-9511 to check compatibility of unlisted phones. Even with the import snafu, I was able to update the entries manually without retyping all those phone numbers. For me, it was a worthwhile effort.

Accessing the cell directories feels cumbersome as a user must navigate a few screens to make a call.

Dialing from the cell directory on the land line was a bit confusing as first. The numbers show as area code and seven digit phone number. The phone doesn't recognize whether it is a local or long-distance number and will dial (xxx)xxx-xxxx if you press send. Neither long-distance nor local calls worked as listed in the cell directory when making calls on the home line. After looking at the manual it turns out the user can toggle between all multiple dialing options with the # key. One press on # makes it long-distance dialing [1(xxx)xxx-xxxx]. Two make it local (xxx-xxxx). Three make it intra-area code long distance (1-xxx-xxxx). Four returns it to the cell listing.

The handset's speakerphone function is really handy while multitasking. Good hands-free function means I can laugh with a good friend while chopping vegetables or type two-handed when I need to look something up. Speakerphone also means the baby can say hi to Grandma without hanging up the phone and that Ranger can tell Jim all about preschool without holding a cordless or cell phone to their head. Recent information on phone radiation and kids makes me wary of them holding any wireless handset to their heads.

The VTech DS6321-3 also allows for the connection of Bluetooth headsets (which emit far less radiation then cordless and cell phones). There are no jacks on the handsets for wired headsets.

The two remote chargers only require an electrical outlet, so they can be placed regardless of phone outlet availability. Because of the phone's digital nature, we put the base and charge stations on surge protectors.

The handsets are compact, but they lack a clip or other hands-free carrying option.

Summary:
We really like the VTech DS6321-3. The simplicity of receiving calls from two phone systems on the same handset removes some stress and chaos from our home. Not having to look up phone numbers on the cell is handy.

The speakerphone options make it possible to take a call and change a diaper at the same time.

It was disappointing to have only a partial import of my cell directory, but even the limited data saved me time in creating a tool I use daily. With compatible phones the import is fast and easy.

We're impressed with how many things the handsets can do. The phone would be improved by a quicker method of accessing cell directories, but the handset menus are generally well designed.

On our long term wish list, I would like to see VTech move toward lower radiation DECT phones which eliminate or reduce broadcast signals when the phones are not in active use. Then they can add a belt clip.

*We always keep an old-school wired phone on our land line, and we strongly recommend that everyone have an unpowered land-line phone which can operate in power outages and emergency situations.

***Baby Toolkit is the independent opinion of geek parents who do not miss their impromptu sprinting, hurdling, and vaulting workouts provided via modern telephony. We received a VTech DS6321-3 phone (MSRP $100) from Vtech's press agents, but we have no financial, emotional, or other notable relationship with VTech or its affiliates. We are Amazon affiliates, so we do receive a small portion of purchases made through our Amazon links. (c) Baby Toolkit 2010.