Now in Stereo*: We Launch a Boardgames Podcast at GreatBigTable.com

Jim and I have been talking about boardgames for decades, so it's about time we start inviting others to the conversation. While we'll still post written reviews on boardgames here on Baby Toolkit, we just issued our first episode of Great Big Table- our podcast about introducing more people to the boardgaming hobby.  We'll definitely be discussing gaming with our kids and families there, but we're also talking about some community gaming we do with friends, family, coworkers, and at church.

If you have gaming group or are thinking about starting one, please join in this new conversation. If you just want to hear how goony we sound when speaking or some of the conversational torment we like to dish out, well, there's that too.

The podcasts are free and can be individually downloaded  or by subscription. We're not on iTunes yet, but that should happen shortly.

If you have better things to do with your time, we aren't surprised, but sometimes you need to egregiously waste time to really see its value.

*Actually, I think it's mono, so the listener on the left has identical mental loss to the listener seated on the right.

***Baby Toolkit remains the written meanderings of a couple geek parents. Not only are we affiliated with GreatBigTable.com, we ARE GreatBigTable.com.

Eating Jim's Lunch: Tyler Florence's Start Fresh cookbook

Somewhere, very soon, a grown man may cry over broccoli.

Jim, This Is Just To Say*
I have eaten
the leftovers
that were in
the icebox

and which
you definitely meant
to eat
for lunch

Forgive me
they were delicious
so tender
and so warm.

 It's rare when I jump to a recommendation without weeks of scrutiny, but Tyler Florence's Start Fresh cookbook won me over as soon as I started reading it.

I'm too lazy for most celebrity chef cookbooks. The recipes seem designed to occupy hours shopping for hard-to-find ingredients, doing abundant prep work, and then obsessively observing every stage of cooking. What I need now, with my household of five, is simplicity, clarity, and health.

A mom who was making her baby all-organic baby food recommended the book to me, and I thought, "Lady, you're insane." Every time I cracked the cover of a baby cookbook, I spent at least an hour preparing something that NO ONE in the family wanted to eat (though Jim would very kindly feign enthusiasm for the disgustingly soft, unbelievable bland horror that I dished up). My friends grew an organic garden and made mountains of baby food for their first child, only to have it summarily rejected. I was too smart to do this again (note: with every new Jones baby I buy an expensive sling I hate and a stack of labyrinthine baby/kid cookbooks). Not this time (for the cookbooks, I already gave up on a Moby wrap).

And then came the line that landed the sales pitch, "You make one meal for the whole family and just puree some of it for the baby."

I dream of only making one meal that everyone eats. Somehow, I have become that short-order mom who everyone thinks they won't be. My kids eat fruit, breads, peanut butter, crackers, and cheese. It's like being stuck at a w(h)ine and cheese buffet for life. Jim and I still love the variety and flavors offered through menu planning service Relish! (we've subscribed since '08). So I've been making two meals and feeding the baby from jars and containers.

When (Tyler Florence's) Sprout baby food went on sale at the grocery, I bought a couple packs. If the baby would reject them like the other kids' did another leading organic baby food brand, I could cast out the lingering book recommendation faster than she spits out peas.

The baby all but wept for joy at the first taste. Her joyful face soon turned cynical as I swear she thought, "What else are you holding out on?" Then she banged her fists until she ate every bit. About 10 bags later, I bought the book.

Start Fresh is a pragmatist's cookbook. Recipes call for simple ingredients that are roasted or steamed (techniques that are cheap and easy). Jim has some great 13 gauge baking sheets which are perfect for roasting.

Last night the baby ate pureed roasted broccoli with Paremsan while we tossed the broccoli with some random pasta, Parmesan, and olive oil. It was outstanding. Even Ranger ate the letters in his name (which is something for a 6 year old who doesn't eat pasta). Jim was gleeful when I packed the leftovers for his lunch.

And then he forgot them. (And Jim, should you still be reading this, I actually saved half for you.)

Start Fresh: Your Child's Jump Start to Lifelong Healthy Eating is currently an Amazon bargain book ($7.79).  The first part of the book is purees while the second half is family meals with simple adaptations. About half the recipes are vegetarian (including great foods like beets, quinoa, eggplant, butternut squash). Only four dessert recipes are included- which is a refreshing change from most kids' cookbooks. The included desserts look healthier than average while still sounding sumptuous (e.g. baked pumpkin with peaches, strawberry-stuffed muffins).

While the book has some fancy-pants moments like making your own almond milk, it has parallel slacker instructions for us less motivated readers.

*My deepest apologies to William Carlos Williams, his red wheelbarrow, the white chickens, and the rain.

***Baby Toolkit is one Midwestern couple's approach to geek living with kids. Our opinions and judgement may be questionable, but they are entirely our own. We have no relationship with Tyler Florence or Rodale books. We are however Amazon affiliates, so a small percentage of purchases made through our links helps support this blog (thanks!).

The Red Book: Instant Adventure, Just Add Words

Over a year ago, when we asked Ranger about his morning at preschool, we had a hard time getting a clear response.  His responses to any open-ended questions (like "What did you see at the zoo?") came out of left field, and didn't really answer the questions.  Often, he'd prefer to discuss something currently happening or something he wanted to do in the future.

Storytelling was clearly not one of his interest areas.  The resulting vagueness caused a lot of misunderstandings, and I was frustrated that he seemed disinterested in telling me about his experiences.

In the Spring last year, illustrator Barbara Lehman's wordless story The Red Book was featured in Ranger's Scholastic flier.  Intrigued by the cute book's mysterious story, I added a copy to our order.

The first naptime we settled in to read it, I asked Ranger questions about what he saw on each page and what he thought was happening.  Each vibrant page offers a lot of things to observe and describe, and the cumulative story is both magical and clearly understood by an older toddler.

The Red Book is a sweet adventure story about a new friendship where the narrative is told through sequential images that the reader can explore and interpret.  Lehman's nonverbal storytelling encompasses enough mystery and magic that the events mandate explanation with each new discovery.

Ranger really liked telling me the story of a child who finds a red book in a snow drift and the ensuing events.  He empathized when one of the main characters became afraid and celebrated when everything worked out in the end.


At naptime and bedtime, Ranger only wanted to read us The Red Book.  His storytelling got better and better, and we all found new information in the images to make the story richer and more interesting.

A month or two later, I bought all of Barbara Lehman's other wordless books:  Rainstorm, Trainstop, and The Museum Trip.
Each of her stories centers around brave discovery by a curious, courageous, and independent child.  This is a great message for children finding their wings as new readers and storytellers.

These are great books to get your kids talking and reading.  The Red Book and Trainstop each tell the story of a girl while Rainstorm and The Museum Trip have boy primary characters.  While the gender of the protagonist seems to have no influence on Ranger's enjoyment of a book, I like that Lehman varies boy and girl heroes in her adventures.

Ranger's storytelling reluctance receded as he practiced daily with Lehman's books.

These wonderful stories opened some important new avenues of communication for our family.

A visiting friend's observation on Ranger's relationship with these books matched our own perceptions.

Right now Amazon has The Red Book marked down to $9.32 (hardcover or Kindle edition) and a bargain paperback edition of The Museum Book for only $5.78.

If you have a pre-reader chomping at the bit or a reluctant storyteller, definitely check out Barbara Lehman's picture books at your local library.

Which kids' books helped your family?

***Baby Toolkit is a collection of dispatches from some bibliophilic geeks with young children.  While we love to curl up with a good book, we recognize that a lot of kids' books are dreadful.  We also confess that there are a handful of books shoved under our heavy sofa so we never have to read them aloud again.  We have no fiscal relationship with Barbara Lehman or her publishers.  DISCLOSURE: Amazon associations we are, so a small portion of sales through our Amazon links comes back to Baby Toolkit and pays for our internet connectivity (thanks!).

House of Shade and Water: Screen House as a Pool Shelter

Summer is here, and it is a scorcher.  Ranger and Scout (the toddler formerly known as the Raptor) want to be romping outside, while I am driven to stay in the shade.

Our backyard gets full sun most of the afternoon, so I've been reluctant to put out the wading pool and endure the relentless sunshine while the kids slowly boil in the pool.

In a recent bout of cleaning, I rediscovered a SwissGear Screen House we bought two years ago for $20 (as opposed to its MSRP of $130) and promptly gave a few cubic feet of our garage.

My clever friend mentioned putting a canopy tent over her kids' pool, so I decided our screen house might provide an oasis of shade.

The tent itself was a snap to set up with two adults (though it had been a laughable fail with our earlier toddler, preschooler, and one adult construction team).

The screen house not only offers shade and limits bug exposure, it also keeps the beach balls from getting away.

Though I think we may now need a bigger pool.

What summer solutions are lurking in your garage?

***Baby Toolkit is the unsolicited opinion of a couple pasty (rumored to be cave-dwelling) geek parents with boisterous, outdoorsy kids.  We have no fiscal relationship with SwissGear, but we are Amazon affiliates, so if you make purchases through our Amazon links a small portion of the proceeds power our family's secret Large Hadron Collider.  Okay, they just help pay our monthly Internet bill, but maybe someday...

Have you heard? ListenAlongStoryBook.com podcasts popular picturebooks for free!

In the 70s, my favorite rack in the public library held plastic bags with books and records. Over my childhood Arnold Lobel's Stone Soup evolved into Sterling North's Rascal while the records were gradually usurped by cassette tapes. Today, the mention of those authors' names conjure memories of laying on the green shag carpet in front of the stereo and engaging in those well-told tales.

Following the Raptor's toddling path through the library last week, I found that the library still has a small collection of those books on cassette (and now CD), but I suspect that those kids' audiobook are becoming a less common feature in libraries today. The audio mediums are more prone to breakage than print materials, so the collections require more patron care and general maintenance.

One children's publisher (Sterling Children's Books) is making it possible for excellent dramatic performance to be a childhood standard yet again.

On March 1st, Sterling launched ListenAlongStoryBook.com which offers live streaming and podcasts of their most popular picture books.

Sterling's publicist sent us a copy of Cesar Takes a Break by Susan Collins Thoms (MRSP: $14.95), so 4 year old Ranger could experience the podcast with the book.

Cesar Takes a Break is a very timely choice for kids about to take a Spring Break. Cesar, a classroom iguana, decides to explore the school when the children of the class leave for vacation. Ranger is in his second year of preschool, but every break seems to surprise him. This story seems a good way to make him mindful of the upcoming week's opportunities.

Jim thinks the book's varied characters (the school's other class pets) lend themselves to expressive reading. Ranger loves it when Jim reads this story as well.

The high quality podcast entails excellent and expressive readings (by Sterling Children's Book staffers) and original music.

Ranger loved the Cesar Takes a Break podcast with and without the book. His reading skills at 4.5 leave him a bit baffled about when to the turn the page. The story pleases him even without the book in hand. We would love to see a subtle signal added to cue page turns as it would allow pre-readers to follow along with greater independence.

Listen-Along Storybook's first 8 podcasts include the classic folktale Jack & the Beanstalk and new releases like Perfectly Arugula.

Ranger and I will get the books from the library so we can follow along with the vibrant illustrations, but YOU have a chance to win the 8 book set from Sterling Children's Books.

Sterling Children's Books has offered to give each of THREE lucky Baby Toolkit readers (in the U.S. or Canada) all 8 books currently featured on the podcast site.

[Contest closed.]
(Contest entries close at 11:59 PM Thursday, 3/18/2010. Winners will be notified by email.)

For a peek behind the production curtain check out the making of Cesar Takes a Break:


Sterling has also launched a Jokecast for the younger set. WARNING: These are serious groaners, and I know Ranger is going to love telling them to me HUNDREDS of times.

***Baby Toolkit is the brain dump of two Midwestern bibliophile geek parents with opinions on almost everything. We received a free copy of Cesar Takes a Break from Sterling Children's Books (~$15 value). While free books are a decent route to our bookworm hearts, we wouldn't bother telling you (at least not in non-lambasting tones) about something we didn't like.

More Muppets: Ringing of the Bells

I'm stifling the urge to wake the Raptor (the biggest Muppet maniac in the household). A new Muppet video was released tonight, and it rocks.

The Nerdist observes "this wave of new vids make the Muppets feel like The Muppet Show again."



Muppet Studios' YouTube channel is well worth a subscription.

***Baby Toolkit is the independent opinion of a couple of geek parents. We have no financial interest in or relationship with the Muppets or their parent company (who we actively dislike). However back in 1990, Adrienne did pull off the expressway to cry after hearing of Jim Henson's untimely death.

Word on Sesame Street: Free eBooks!

Ranger and I spent part of the afternoon listening to lovable, furry old Grover read the audio eBook There is a Monster at the End of this Book. Each word is highlighted as Grover narrates. The audio effects cracked Ranger up.

To celebrate its 40th birthday, Sesame Workshop issued its most popular title ever in ebook form [trivia: There is a Monster at the End of this Book hasn't been out of print since its original printing]. They plan of offering a new free ebook every week. Some of the ebooks will have audio and interactive capabilities. Early in 2010, Sesame Street and Impelsys (the technology provider) plan on offering even more titles for individual purchase and subscription.

The eBooks can be viewed through a web browser, but do not seem to have a download option (please let me know if I'm overlooking something).

Users can print pages from coloring and activity books like the seasonally appropriate Celebrate.

Sesame Street ebooks can be found at http://ebooks.sesamestreet.org.

For more information about the future of Sesame Street's eBooks, read Impelsys' recent press release.

***Baby Tookit is the independent opinion of a couple geek parents. We have no fiscal, social, or familial relationship with Sesame Street, Children's Television Workshop, PBS, or Impelsys. Heck, we're actually suspicious of newfangled characters like Elmo and Abby Cadabby and we feel like Big Bird doesn't get enough air time, but these eBooks are cool- especially while they're free.

In addition, we are Amazon.com affiliates, so if you click through the picture above and buy the book (or other stuff), a small percentage of the sale will go to support Baby Toolkit (thanks!). We do own this book, and Ranger loves to hear it read by Jim even more than the ebook (sorry, Grover).

Halloween 2009: Making Mario

My favorite Halloween costumes have function beyond the holiday. Before his first Halloween, Ranger's grandparents gave him a cowboy outfit, so we just added a Western hat to complete the costume.

I found an old chef's coat at a thrift shop, so Jim and I talked about a mad scientist costume (in the spirit of Dr. Horrible), but that amused us more than it would Ranger.

Cruising Dabbled.org's great Halloween coverage, I found a great costume that would delight Ranger and satisfy my hopes of reuse. (Thanks, Dot!)

Ranger follows the adventures of Mario in Kart , Tennis, and Strikers via Nintendo. When he saw the Flickr photo a Mario costume became a regular topic of conversation. I launched the hunt for a long-sleeved red shirt, denim overalls, white gloves, and a hat (or sewing pattern).

By Sunday, I had everything but the hat. Jim helped me search through pattern books for a good match and we settled on Simplicity 2808 (note for sewists*: this pattern is for adult sized hats as we're big-headed folk). Ranger's preschool Halloween parade was Thursday, so I spent Tuesday and Wednesday nights as an amateur milliner. The hat needed to look cartoonish, so all errors in tailoring could be deemed value-added features.

Jim fashioned Ranger's fine mustache from brown felt. I attached it to a loose-fitting loop of thin, soft elastic which fit over the ears and behind the nape.

Thursday's parade went well. Even the people who didn't know about Mario (like the nursing home residents who Ranger's class visited) loved his mustache.

On Friday afternoon, I noticed a long sleeved green onesie in the Raptor's closet hanging near her overalls. When I told Ranger about this, we both came to the same conclusion. On Saturday, Jim, Mario, and the Ranger hit the fabric store for more elastic while I sewed against the clock.

If you want to show off a homemade costume to people who will appreciate it, go to the fabric store on Halloween. Ranger got full rock star treatment from both staff and shoppers and EVERYONE knew about Mario. I think he preferred it even to trick or treating.

They returned home and one mustache later, the Mario brothers were cavorting on the front lawn.

Mario pulled out Ranger's golf set and entertained the neighborhood with some impromptu Mario Golf (why isn't this available for the Wii) while Luigi mostly laughed and pointed.

Luigi's hat is also an adult size large. I sewed a tuck in the back of the hatband to size it down. The large size makes her look more like Baby Luigi than Luigi and it leaves us the opportunity to reuse the hat set as the kids get older. Plus, I can wear it too.

Happy Halloween!

*Yes, this is an emerging word, but neither seamstress nor tailor really seemed appropriate and sewer (to me) always starts with a su sound and bears an entirely different meaning, so sewist it shall be. Feel free to suggest better terms.

***Baby Toolkit has received a Nintendo DS and a review copy of Mario Tennis from Nintendo. We have no fiscal interest in nor undisclosed relationship with Nintendo nor its parent companies. Baby Toolkit is written by geek parents who can be seen driving around town in felt mustaches.

photos: (c) Baby Toolkit, 2009. All rights reserved.

Munchie Mug: The Snack Cup That Makes Us Eat Our Words

Way back in 2007, we gave up the hunt for an effective snack cup (Snack Traps: Very Small Money Pits). I filed the fantasy of a truly spill-proof snack carrier in with Nessie, Big Foot, and a drive-through diaper store.

When the McNichols posted a wildly favorable review of the Munchie Mug on Z Recommends (titled The Best Snack Holder Ever), I sent an email along the lines of "No! Really? NO!" to receive an emphatic "YES!" in reply.

Mug makers Witty Works Incorporated, upon my request, sent me a Munchie Mug to review.

With genius simplicity, the split panel fabric top offers access without overflow. Forget about the flashy snack cups with gyroscopic motion, kids will figure out how to foil or break those. These straightforward cups are workhorses that always meet user demands.

The Munchie Mug has easily handled regular cleaning and Ranger's toddler (ab)use for ten months. To Ranger's disappointment, the cup accommodates even the large hand of a hungry adult without difficulty or damage.

On the other end of the spectrum, our 11 month old Raptor can also manage the mug's pragmatic design:

Her catch and release technique reminds us that even the best designed cup will be challenged by these tiny agents of entropy. I promise you that the escaped Cheerios are all part of a larger PEBKAC error (problem exists between kid and container in this case). The high lip on the lid that mystified the Z Recs team makes perfect sense when used by a baby. It catches some of the dropped food increasing chances of recovery. The cut-out offers an easy grip (even when crawling) for tiny hands.

The Munchie Mug is the only snack holder that meets our family's expectations. It is made of durable BPA-free polypropylene.

If you're looking for a great baby shower or baby/toddler birthday gift, the Munchie Mug ($15.95) is sure to be a hit with both young'uns and their faithful attendants. Munchie Mug is available with a blue, pink, or yellow lid and an alternate clear storage lid to keep treats fresh and tasty overnight.

***Baby Toolkit has no financial stake in or undisclosed relationship with Witty Works Incorporated. Witty Works sent us a free Munchie Mug to test. We're geek parents with ample opinions and two enthusiastic amateur test engineers. Video: Baby Toolkit, (c) 2009; some rights reserved.

Rock, Paper, Scissors: Party Preparation

For Ranger's birthday party, we wanted a no tears craft that would engage kids from toddler through 5th grade. After considering at a number of very clever projects, we decided to stick with what we know.

I printed off the crown template I use for fabric play crowns. The day before the party, I traced six of them onto each of five sheets of white posterboard ($0.70 x 5= $3.50+ sales tax for 30 crowns). A wonderful friends brought loads of crayons. An adult sized and stapled the finished crowns. (Hint: Staple from the inside of the crown so the flat side of the staple is against the wearer's hair and the points are on the exterior.)

The levels of interest varied greatly. Some kids put major effort into their crowns and wore them throughout the party. Other kids (Ranger among them) were more interested in getting back to the dance floor and playroom.

That brings us to the Rock. Jim put together a party mix from some of Ranger's favorite tunes:

1. I'm So Happy You're Here Blue’s Clues
2. The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song the Flaming Lips
3. Mahna Mahna Cake
4. Stayin' Alive the Bee Gees
5. I Am a Paleontologist They Might Be Giants (w/ Danny Weinkauf) [free download- thanks, TMBG & Girlie Action! Thanks for the tip, Spare the Rock! *pre-order this great new album for the bargain rate of $9.99 on Amazon]
   
6. The Hoppity Song Five for Fighting
7. Mix Tape Jim’s Big Ego [free download courtesy of Jim's Big Ego!]
   
8. A Little Less Conversation JXL Remix
9. All the Small Things Blink 182
10. Gotta Be Me Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
11. Music Farm Xtatik
12. Rockin' Robin Bryan White
13. My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors Moxy Fruvous
14. Family Tree Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
15. Lovely Rita The Beatles
16. Go Down Emmanuel Road Dan Zanes & the Rocketship Revue
17. Silly Hat Blue’s Clues
18. Flying Machine Father Goose
19. King of Spain Moxy Fruvous
20. Come Together The Beatles
21. So Glad I'm Here Elizabeth Mitchell
22. All Night Long Dan Zanes & Friends
23. I'm Yours Jason Mraz
24. So Long It's Been Good to Know Yuh Dan Zanes & Friends

Feel free to don a crown and break out your boogie shoes.

Bang-on fireworks noise solution: Bop away the blasts

Ranger is no fan of fireworks. The sounds make him want to hide (which, when I think about it, is a perfectly reasonable reaction to explosions).

Last year, Uncle Punk suggested a novel diversion from the local pyrotechnics, even more loud noise. We cranked up the Ramones and danced until we were too tired to care what sounds might emanate from the neighborhood.

This year, we'll shake up the noisy playlist.

What loud kid friendly tunes do you suggest?

Presence, Not Presents: Why We Throw No Gift Parties (& How)

Like many things in life, our no gift kid parties started with a simple decision, an agreement among friends.

Through a hospital-sponsored lactation group, I became close with 4 families who had infants born within a month of Ranger. A few months before their first birthdays, the older sibling of one of the 6 babies had a birthday party. One mom volunteered to organize a group gift for the birthday girl. At the party, we discussed the impending month of 6 birthdays.

Everyone agreed that 5 separate gifts for babies would be overkill as our kids could all anticipate more than enough presents from grandparents alone. Someone posed the question if we'd mind NOT giving gifts among the group. I was filled with relief. My days were still consumed with post-tornado, post-flood repairs and appeals to our insurance company; our nights, if it rained, were filled with basement leak management. Jim and I were exhausted physically and emotionally. The thought of finding 5 thoughtful, personal gifts with our then cash-poor budget made me queasy. My awesome friends all pledged not to give birthday gifts (because one gift makes everyone feel bad).

And we didn't. Which is impressive as we live in a place slightly above the Mason-Dixon line where gifts are a part of the convivial, generous culture. Instead, we found other ways to support and give to our friends. The question "What can we bring?" shifted into the gap that presents previously occupied. Outdoor parties were met with offers for bringing chairs and kids' picnic tables. One torrential evening I drove by the flooded shelter house where 3 families had scheduled an outdoor party for the following day. Within a few hours, I'd secured a couple offers for free use of indoor facilities. The next day, while parts of town were closed by flash flooding, we were eating an indoor picnic. We've all loaned decorations, brought food, and helped with set-up, tear down, and serving. One incredible mom made cakes for all the kids' first birthdays.

The parties rocked. Our kids got to play, relatives of the birthday child got to meet all the kiddos, and tasks tended to be lighter with plenty of good friends as willing helpers. There were gifts from the birthday child's families, but the non-birthday kids generally ignored the present-opening portion of the day.

More people joined the baby group, and we filled them in on the no gift agreement. Party attendance did not obligate anyone to invitation reciprocation or assistance with the event, so new families were free to conduct their own parties as they saw fit.

For the past 3 years different people have thrown parties. Sometimes we just celebrate with cupcakes at playgroup or doughnuts and carousel rides at the mall. Other times there are parties with activities and lunch.

For Ranger's third birthday, we raised the stakes. We threw our first actual party and broke all the expert recommendations by inviting oodles of attendees (over half of which were under 6). As our house is already bursting at the seams with toe-stubbers, this was our invitation:

No Presents, Just Partying.

There was some kerfuffle. We told everyone that the kids would have more fun without presents.

And we meant it. Before Ranger was born we attended a few kid parties where gift opening was part of the entertainment. The birthday kid unwraps an endless pile of gifts while the other kids fidget, envy, or fight over the new toys. The birthday kid is expected to respond appropriately with excitement and gratitude for each gift before it is snatched away and replaced with another package. Depending upon the party's adult leadership, the gifts are then put in protective custody (which tantalizes and torments other kids) or they are handed out for general use while the birthday kid keeps unwrapping (which tantalizes and torments the honoree).

Too many gifts arrive at one time, so a wonderful gift may get little notice. A lot of gifts may be last minute purchases and not particularly well suited for the recipient. The unwrapping provides lots of opportunity for awkward, uncomfortable moments.

It seemed far easier to omit gifts. Grandparents (who are unstoppable in their generosity) could give gifts at a quieter time when Ranger would be more likely to appreciate them. Other relatives were wonderful in helping prepare the meal and assist with the craft. This gave Jim and I much more time to play with Ranger and the other guests.

A few skeptics showed up with gifts, and those few gifts were discreetly set aside and opened after the party. We were sure to write thank you notes for those gifts when we thanked everyone who helped us with the party logistics.

Our party started at 10 AM, with lunch and cake around 11:30, but most people weren't ready to leave. We went back to dancing and activities until 2 PM. That is a long party, especially for kids around 3 years old.

AND NOBODY CRIED until it was time to go home. No joke. Over a dozen wee attendees and no tears. Lots of laughing, lots of dancing, some crafting, some block-building, and a fair amount of running, but no crying.

Many parents told me that they found the no present situation quite pleasant.

I feel like the party is a gift in itself, and a very special one at that. Friends and family gather to celebrate your existence, special foods are served, and everyone wants to have a good time.

When presents are introduced, a birthday can become judged solely on the gifts received. We want Ranger and the Raptor to grow up seeing the incredible wealth they have in the people who love them. We want them to understand that a caring community outweighs material desires.

For weeks Ranger talked about all the people who danced with him.

Attentive readers of this blog know I make a lot of birthday gifts (crowns and banners in particular), so how does that fit with a no-gift practice? I often give the crowns and banners before the actual event, and I usually give them to the parents. (FYI: There's no problem with spontaneous gift giving in our group.) That way the parents can decide if they want to incorporate the banner in the decorations or hang it over the breakfast table. Birthday crowns are sometimes worn all day (on trips to the grocery store, etc.), but more often become a part of the child's daily play. It's always a sweet feeling to see a crowned head round enter the room when visiting friends.

We do also attend gift parties to which we bring gifts (sometimes handmade, sometimes purchased). Our preferences and values are not those of every family, so we don't consider hosting no-gift birthdays a "free pass" to breech normal etiquette.

Now, I'm sure some readers are sharpening up their pixels to give me a list of reasons why this doesn't work in the real world, but it did. It was an advantage that my some of my friends had a pre-existing agreement, but they only comprised a portion (less than half) of the party invitees.

We'll post more about Ranger's 3rd birthday soon (before he turns 4), but the time seemed right for this topic now. Thanks to Thingamababy and Daddy Types for opening this interesting conversation.

What do you think? (I promise not to weep too copiously at any opposition.)

Required Reading: A Visitor for Bear is Welcome Here

Most weekdays, shortly after two PM, I can be heard rumbling "It's impossible, insufferable, intolerable!" while my son laughs or joins in.

Ranger is a kid who loves repetition, so one book can dominate our naptime and bedtime selections for weeks on end. Bonny Becker's A Visitor for Bear contends to be our longest running favorite.

I am surprised not to be tired of this book after so many readings, but I actually look forward to reading it aloud.

The book concerns a bear who is repeatedly visited by a persistent mouse requesting tea. Bear, a grouchy loner, points to the prominent "No Visitors Allowed" sign on his cottage door and sends the mouse on his way. The little mouse, a spritely rodent Houdini, keeps appearing in the cupboards and cabinets as bear goes about "the business of making his breakfast." Bear progressively barricades his house only to find the chipper interloper in a new location.

Finally, the bear breaks down and agrees to serve the mouse "a spot of tea" before "a crackling fire" on the condition the fuzzy fellow will leave afterward.

SPOILER: In a twist ending, the bear ends up enjoying the mouse's company immensely and is disappointed at his departure. Bear pleads for the mouse to stay. The mouse reminds Bear of his sign. Bear tears down the sign saying, "That's for salesmen, not for friends!"

The mouse brightens, and the pair can be seen sharing more tea by the fire at the book's close.

A Visitor for Bear incorporates repetition without being obnoxious.

Kady MacDonald Denton's illustrations charm and entertain in harmony with the text. When I read the book I can imagine Bonny Becker's pleasure upon seeing these lovely, fitting representations.

This talent author-illustrator team is certainly one to watch. Their next Mouse and Bear book, A Birthday for Bear, is expected in September 2009. I'm going to pre-order it today.

Worst Bedtime Stories: Some Origins of My Childhood Nightmares

At Easter dinner, my brother mentioned relocating a book from childhood. As he intoned the title, I asked "Is that the one with the monkey's paw?"

"You mean 'The Patchwork Monkey,' and yes..." he said.

The Patchwork Monkey: the story that made me twitch a little in the presence of stuffed monkeys and patchwork stuffed animals of all stripe. The story that made me afraid to be alone, especially in the dark. How could I forget it?

"Baleful Beasts and Eerie Creatures? I remember seeing that book around," my mom answered.

My brother continued, "...and there was that story about the box."

"Oh, the thing that gets loose in the house, and grows?" I queried.

While my brother filled in the rest of the plot, my skin chilled as if cold wind swept suddenly through the dining room. I hated that book. It terrorized me, but I could not resist it. Over a long period of time, I read each story in the anthology. For the first time, I realized that it had also bothered my brother.

He continued "Funny thing, do you know the year on the inscription?"

Mutely, I shook my hood.

The year he turned 5 and I turned 3. He could read well by 5. He could read aloud by 5. I doubt he read it to me at 3, but I suspect it was before First Grade. In my foggy memories of reading that first harrowing story, he looms large. It seems quite plausible that he played the role of narrator.

Suddenly all those years (and I seriously mean years) of night terror suddenly seemed less mysterious. And it explained why I stuffed the unusually heavy hand-me-down patchwork dog in the back of my closet and NEVER wanted a sock monkey.

The reemergence of Baleful Beasts touched a nerve in him. "Do you remember this other book? I'm SURE someone read it to us at [elementary school]. There was this hunter who shot a monster's tail off?"

More childhood memories returned. Carefully tucking every inch of cover around myself (head included) after my mom left the room at night. Realizing in horror that my teddy bear fell from the bed to the floor and then crying because I was too scared to rescue her.

The title of this terrifying tome? Tailypo. It's downright comical now.

My dad and brother embarked to find both books online. It turns out Baleful Beasts is a desirable collector's item and Tailypo's spooky illustrations aren't that much different than Farmer Brown from Click Clack Moo taking on an oversized dust bunny (on the other hand, Baleful Beasts' cover still creeps me out).

When I walked in the computer room dad said "Baleful Beasts sells for $150." There was pride in his voice that he'd had the foresight to give my brother such a valuable book.

My brother started reading me the Amazon reviews for Tailypo. It's amazing how many reviewers were traumatized by the book via elementary school teachers. Lots of adults echoed his feelings about Tailypo: "Aside from teh [sic] mental scarring, I love this book."

Next thing I knew I was reading all the comments for both books (especially Baleful Beasts). Seeing the readers' remarks I realized those texts were pretty powerful stuff for young kids and inspired more than a few nightmares worldwide.

Though it hadn't been ordered before we left, I suspect a copy of Tailypo will soon be winging its way via parcel service (or flying monkey) to my brother.

I made him promise not to show either book to Ranger or the Raptor until they are much older.

So what scared the heck out of you as kid?
How do you plan to handle similar materials with your own kids?

Pedicures for the Churlish: Video-Gaming the Resistance

Ranger is no fan of nail trimming.

After a few episodes of wailing and flailing, Jim and I became clipper-shy. In an epic battle of parental buck-passing, we each denied knowledge of his long, uneven nails until the situation demanded immediate action (with luck, by the other parent).

Last month, Jim wielded the nail clippers for an emergency preschooler pedicure while a sock footed Ranger screamed bloody murder in anticipation.

In the living room, I unearthed our Nintendo DS Lite: it's one of those rare secrets we've managed to keep from the curious kid. With Kirby Super Star Ultra on board, I handed the kid "the toenail game."

Instant tranquility via electronic rapture. After his toenails were finished, Ranger offered his hands to buy more time with the flashing pixels.

In order to keep the entertainment special, we allow no non-persuasive access to the DS.

When we will stop exploiting the boy's love for video games? Whenever it stops working so well.

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