Tempus Fugit: Hug Your Kids Tonight

The best news I've had today is that our family member cried when she heard her toddler on the phone.

This mom isn't conscious.  She hasn't been since Saturday when she had a stroke, but her eyes filled with tears when her daughter spoke to her today.

We don't really know what the future holds- for her or for any of us.

She's younger than me.  None of us expected a health crisis like this.

Too often I delay interactions with my kids. This horror serves a stark reminder that relationships (especially with children) cannot wait.

Play a board game.  Listen to a story.  Take a walk around the block.  Dance in the living room.  Hug.  Joke.

And please stop smoking.

Smoking greatly increases the risk of stroke (and embolism) in young women.  Combined with birth control or other hormones it can be deadly.  A little over a decade ago, we lost a beautiful friend in her mid-twenties to a pulmonary embolism resulting from an otherwise minor injury.

With the wrong genetics, smoking can magnify an inherited clotting risk enormously.

If you love a parent who smokes, please support them in quitting for their kids.  The catastrophic effects of a stroke can be far more sudden and traumatic than we think- especially in young women.

If you pray, please keep this young mom and her family in your prayers.  She's scheduled for surgery in the morning, and we would all be so overjoyed if she would just wake up.


***Baby Toolkit doesn't want other families to go through this sadness and anxiety.  We usually discuss geek parenting.

Declaration for Vaccination

A few years ago I read about the 1918 influenza pandemic. I stumbled into a truly gripping book on the present day search for the historical virus (this book has Eskimos, adventurers, and edge of your seat science).

Like so many historical events, it turns out my family was shaped by that epidemic. My grandfather, a young child of missionaries, was traveling back to Egypt after time in the United States. In New York, waiting to disembark on the long journey by sea, he caught influenza. A compassionate woman (a "church lady" and a mother according to the retelling- which probably means a stranger or acquaintance) took him in and nursed him back to health. This brave and generous woman caught the infectious disease and died. My grandfather's life would continue to be shaped by the fact that someone died helping him. His life needed to be more because it had costs others so dearly. In his adulthood he built churches, schools, and orphanages in some of the world's poorest regions.

Recently I was telling this story to a friend, a nurse, and she said, "Don't you think medicine is better today?" Well, of course it is; however EPIDEMIC numbers of sick people can quickly overwhelm the medical infrastructure. Current projections for Indiana suggest future problems (note: that's 57% of hospital beds, not 57% of available hospital beds- most hospitals run above 43% capacity). Some people, such as those with existing health conditions and pregnant women, don't find much relief from modern medicine.

I believe that vaccination is better for individuals and the community than the alternative. I believe it enough that I stood in line for 4 hours with a 4 year-old Ranger and the 11 month-old Raptor so they could get H1N1 shots. Contrary to rumors, not all forms of the immunization have mercury and even Dr. Sears recommends them for children. Dr. Sears even states

"We are dealing with the same thing we face with flu shots every year: same chemical ingredients, new flu vaccine strains."

Our parents and grandparents underwent much greater risk in the fight against polio mid-twentieth century. Anyone bearing vaccination scars on their arms received a live shot of polio, but they made the disease a rarity.

Now is the time for courage.

***Baby Toolkit is not affiliated with the CDC nor any health organization or company. We are not medical professionals nor oracles. We are geek parents endowed with literacy and reason.

Post Pregnancy Acne: An Answer You Can Sleep On

About a month ago, a friend with a newborn recently commented on having the worst acne of her entire life. She made me feel a little better as I've been having similar problems since the Raptor's birth. A few months after Ranger's birth I had similar problems.

Since the Raptor is still nursing, prescription medicine is problematic. That's why I had to try the potential solution Jim saw on Reddit last week. Not only was it non-chemical, it was cheap and easy. As I already do laundry all the time, I really had nothing to lose.

So every night for a week, I've slept with a different clean towel on my pillowcase (I told you it was simple).

The redness and irritation diminished visibly in two days. By day 3, areas that had been persistently irritated for weeks started to fade. After 7 days only a few active sites remain and new acne (thank you post-pregnancy hormonal shifts) are tiny and dissipate within 48 hours.

My skin feels better and has an improved appearance. I suspect that the loft of the towel's loops lets the air circulate under the face. The increased air circulation discourages the growth of bacteria by keeping skin cooler and drier (increased evaporation). Maybe it's the placebo effect or laundry voodoo, but it makes the mirror less miserable every morning.

Pillow Talk: Sleep Apnea

A few weeks ago, I was reminded of the small miracle presented by Jim's CPAP. Over a decade ago, a few years into our marriage, I thought I was going to lose my mind or have to move into a separate bedroom.

Jim snored the weird cadence of a malfunctioning buzz saw. While most spouses might respond with a gentle nudge, I would shove him until he moved into a non-snoring position. This happened dozens of times each night.

The biggest mystery was why Jim, for all his snore-generating behavior, was even less rested than me. He was disconcertingly falling asleep at stoplights and any time life paused into quiet.

I was showing the confusion and insanity of sleep deprivation and Jim seemed to have narcolepsy.

My dad noticed Jim falling asleep all the time and suggested Jim go for a sleep study. Our physician decided the same thing when Jim told him how he hadn't been sleeping well for a very long time.

The test results showed that Jim's constant morning headaches, dry mouth, snoring, and agonizingly poor sleep were all due to the fact he quit breathing regularly throughout the night. The constant struggle for air kept him from ever falling into a deep sleep while short periods of oxygen deprivation put him at higher risk for heart attack and stroke. It turns out that, shoving injuries were some of the smallest threats he faced.

Jim was placed on CPAP, and after finding the right mask, we both started getting real sleep. Jim said the first day after using his CPAP felt like recovering from a long illness.

Since Jim's diagnosis many members of his family have also been diagnosed with sleep apnea. It turns out their nose and throat structure makes them more susceptible to sleep apnea.

Very recently, Jim noticed a twenty-something friend falling asleep at a stoplight. After talking to Jim our friend was also diagnosed with apnea.

I don't think many people in our generation are aware of sleep apnea which is scary considering how it can contribute to heart attacks and strokes.

If your partner's snoring or gasping seems atypical, you should probably read Mayo Clinic's guide to sleep apnea (actual medical information written by professionals). Jim is happy to reply to comments or email. He is an apnea awareness evangelist since his diagnosis and treatment dramatically improved the quality of his life.

Hiccups Gone in a Jiffy, Skippy: The Miraculous Peanut Butter Cure

Jim has always teased me about my seismic hiccups. Their size was rivaled only by their duration.

One day my office assistant mentioned that peanut butter worked as a cure, and she happened to have a jar in her purse.

Since that miraculous advice, a big spoon full of peanut butter has never failed to drive away even my loudest hiccups.

Pedicures for the Churlish: Video-Gaming the Resistance

Ranger is no fan of nail trimming.

After a few episodes of wailing and flailing, Jim and I became clipper-shy. In an epic battle of parental buck-passing, we each denied knowledge of his long, uneven nails until the situation demanded immediate action (with luck, by the other parent).

Last month, Jim wielded the nail clippers for an emergency preschooler pedicure while a sock footed Ranger screamed bloody murder in anticipation.

In the living room, I unearthed our Nintendo DS Lite: it's one of those rare secrets we've managed to keep from the curious kid. With Kirby Super Star Ultra on board, I handed the kid "the toenail game."

Instant tranquility via electronic rapture. After his toenails were finished, Ranger offered his hands to buy more time with the flashing pixels.

In order to keep the entertainment special, we allow no non-persuasive access to the DS.

When we will stop exploiting the boy's love for video games? Whenever it stops working so well.

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